A note from David: Today we have a very special treat, a guest blog from none other than quoteboard leader Gina!

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Oh holy crap, today i had my first “flashback from ‘nam” here at the Fed.

Or i should say “flashback from the Sears Tower post-911″.

Window washers….

Here at the Fed, they are real people hanging on ropes with industrial

sized toilet plunger looking things on their hands. Today is the first

time i have seen them….

I sit across from a window, where i do not look directly at it, but can see

out of it with my She-Ra like peripheral vision.

Today i am nicely focusing on some Security Operating Procedure that i have put off for a few weeks and drinking some coffee..

WHEN OUT OF NOWHERE SPIDEY COMES BUSTING DOWN ON THE WINDOW! he has one ghetto-a** looking rope and giant toilet plugger hands!!!!!!!!!!

I jumped about six feet, let out a grunt scream/yelp, snorted coffee into

my nose and about peed myself. And, i am embarrassed to say, that i

thought “uni-bomber” immediately. Why or HOW “uni-bomber”, I am not sure, and i don’t know if it is safe to analyze my thought process… But terror is terror and that is all i have to say about that.

So as the lady that sits behind me looks at me like i have 3 green heads

and a polka-dotted antenna, she says “it is a window washer”.

Me: “yea, i know”

Lady: “have you never seen one before”

Me: “yea”

And that is when i realize, no.. no Spidey has never lunged himself at the

window near me before….

a.) Dave and I used to watch in horror and shock as the spideys across the way dangled from their crack coated rope (why else would one chose to do that?) in the winter months to wash windows….

b.) The Sears Tower had a machine that washed windows… that same machine that post 911 sent the entire Sears Tower building running down the stairs into the streets to save themselves.

c.) Aon doesn’t clean anything.. let alone a window. they have “please

don’t pee in the stairs” signs posted in the parking garage.

So no, this was a new experience… and i thought all of you needed to share in it.

And a good take away is: window washers are scary scary things…

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I got a new cell phone last weekend (don’t worryI have the same number) and the 1980’s phone is no more.

It’s one a them there new camera phones. It also has a “voice memo” option so that I can better record all of your quotes for the website.

But the greatest feature of the phone is that it is NOT AT&T wireless. I have freed myself from them at last!

In other news … I got a paper cut this morning.

In other news … I’m cutting back on Diet coke

In relates news … I have a serious head ache already.

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Be sure to not only comment on the blog, but also feel free to include a comment or comments on what blog topic you want me to hit next. It can be anything: The War in Iraq, The Social value of Blue vs. Green, Why the 80s hairstyles will never truly die … you pick the topic, and I will do my best to choose at least one and provide “The issue according to Dave”. (I may not pick any of them, or I may pick more than one … but the submission may very will be as entertaining as the blogs they inspire!)

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Well I think I’ve waited long enough. If you haven’t yet voted on which Reality TV show you most enjoy, you still can … but you have missed your opportunity to influence my blog on the subject, for that starts … now.

I have to admit I love reality TV, however I’m very picky about what I watch. Although I love reality TV, I’m the first to admit and proclaim that alot of it is pure crap.

The question posed to me was “which show” would I “choose to be on”.

It’s a tough choice, so I had to go with the process of elimination to help. Thankfully, there are a few that drop off the list rather quickly.

Shows I cannot be on:

• Extreme Makeover Home Edition: Easily one of my favorites. These people pick some deserving home owner / family and rebuild their house in 7 days (seriously it’s freakin’ amazing). While I would LOVE to be on this show (Get a new house and a 7 day free vacation, I mean come on.) … I don’t own a home … so sadly, this show is out.
• Trading Spaces: I also enjoy this show (although never see it anymore … back when I was unemployed I watched it everyday) … but again … no house.

Shows I don’t want to be on:

• Fear Factor: This is the stupidest show ever conceived. It has nothing to do with fear, it boils down to “the gross factor” and who will eat the most disgusting thing. No thanks.
• The Apprentice: I generally dislike work and hope to find some way to avoid doing it for the rest of my life … I couldn’t in good faith take part in this show.
• Real World: Sadly, I’m no longer in the proper demographic to take part in this show. I should have done this one back when I was young enough. Now-a-days not only would I be the weird old guy, but every other person in the house would annoy the piss out of me inside of 20 seconds.
• Road Rules: Bad show – I want nothing to do with this one.
• Big Brother: I’ve only seen a few episodes of this show, but I’ve decided I don’t like it. It essentially boils down to who can crack first under house arrest. It is however an interesting exploration of prison social dynamics. In the end the show boils down to the producers counting on someone annoying someone else … and if I’m gonna be on a TV show, I’m gonna be on one where I get a new house or somethin’ … not one where I get … intentionally annoyed.

That brings us to the …

Shows that I could potentially be on.

Lets start with Survivor.

Survivor: I like this show, but by now it’s old news. We all know by now about the “alliances” people make, and while that made the first season really interesting, the contestants are too “survivor savvy” now to be entertaining. We know what they’re going to do, they know what they’re going to do, and now the show is solely about what new crazy competitions the producers can come up with for them to do. Combine this with the fact that I would rather starve than gut a fish … I think this would be a poor choice.

Now assuming that I was willing to move to the region of the country that participants are required to live in … or that the show was doing a “on the road” special to Chicago … that leaves pretty much every other show out there.

I’ve given it alot of thought – days of internal debate. I’ve pondered the pros and cons of each and I have finally come to the decision as to which reality TV show I would most like to be on.

And the winner is …

The U.S. Presidential Debates: I figure there are only 2 ways to really be on this show, as the President, or some guy who has a real chance at becoming the president (we’ll ignore that whole Ross Perot thing as a fluke) and at either one of these I think I’d be exceptional. Now I suppose I could be one the show as the moderator … and even that would be ok, because I’d be the type of moderator to say things like “That’s great, now how about actually answering the question I asked you.” or “You realize that this criticism of your opponent doesn’t explain the issue put to you, right?”

In any of the 3 situations that may get me on the debates … the country would be better off for it.

I think I’ll write the commission on Presidential Debates and see what they can do for me.

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Reminder: Be sure to comment on the blog above, and also feel free to include a comment or comments on what blog topic you want me to hit next. It can be anything: The War in Iraq, The Social value of Blue vs. Green, Why the 80s hairstyles will never truly die … you pick the topic, and I will do my best to choose at least one and provide “The issue according to Dave”. (I may not pick any of them, or I may pick more than one … but the submission may very will be as entertaining as the blogs they inspire)

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I was writing my “reality TV” blog when I heard the news. ‘Superman’, Christopher Reeve, has died. This is a sad day indeed.

This seems worthy of a quick blog, so I’ll save the Reality TV blog for tomorrow. That means you have one more day to vote and try to influence the result.

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The web server is apparently configured as a different time zone … I’m investigating exactly whats going on and working to get the time stamps of our posts to be more accurate.

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I managed to create a “Whats New” list function that works with the new backend systems of the website!

This feature was a very nice one that I missed having a great deal. I think it was sorely missed by all of you as well. The new function works with all posts/comments to the new phpBB based site, and pulls the appropriate “whats new message” randomly from my old system (based on who did what). Very cool if I do say so myself.

It’s basic at the moment, but watch more features to be included in the whats new list and for more sophisticated linking. I’m also toying with ideas for better formatting the messages.

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