Unhealthy addictions
Now I have alot of addictions really … some healthier than others … most harmless.
You all know that I’m addicted to Diet Coke (or more specifically the caffeine within it). In fact some of you once held a bit of an intervention (never mind the fact that those same people routinely encourage me to drink beer/liquor until I’m at the brink of death). You all also know that I’m the first to admit this addiction. For me, there is nothing’ as comforting as a 32 ounce diet coke within arms reach.
The other night was rough. It was a long hard day at work and hadn’t had a diet coke since lunch. I took the L home (something I’m trying to do more often, Gina) and so suffered the 40-some minute ride with no diet coke. I walked home from the L and about half way home I realized I was going to have to make a very difficult choice when I got home. Do I immediately chug a diet coke (my mouth watered just thinking about it and I could barely resist the urge to start jogging back to the refrigerator waiting at home)? Or do I fall directly into bed and crash for a few hours? The rough day at work (and lack of caffeine to top it off) had me beat. The thought of pillows and sleep nearly inspired me to stop at Water Tower and take a little nap on a bench. I was between a rock and a hard place.
When I got home I chose the latter. I crashed … hard. Hours of blissful peace passed and I woke up sometime after 9pm.
Upon getting out of bed I instinctively set down at the computer and checked the email, turned on the IMs, and started an instance of SWG. I had planned to turn on these programs and get a diet coke as they loaded. But an unexpected email, and IM, and then a series of in-game transactions, which required my attention, kept me at the computer.
About an hour and a half later I was going thru some serious caffeine withdraw. My head was pounding my hands were shaking and I thirsted no matter how much water I drank. I took a few Excedrin (not so much for the headache but because they contain caffeine) and finished my dealings in game. I couldn’t put off the diet coke anymore. The Excedrin slowed the progression of the withdraw but only slightly and it was wearing off now … comin’ down would just be all the harder now.
I go to the fridge and reach into the diet coke ‘fridge pack’ and immediately panic. I can tell as the cardboard box moved as I reached in that it was empty.
I rip out the box and pear into it … confirmed empty.
I actually whimpered. I’m not sure that I have ever whimpered in my entire life to date … but I did that night. I let out an involuntary vocal whimper.
I stood there for a minute trying to not break down into tears. I could here the crisp beeping of the SWG client telling me that I was receiving messages in game. “Bah”. I ignored them. I knew that it was crunch time.
I’d been sleeping and sitting at the computer for hours. I was in no shape to leave the apartment. Further it was midnight. I wasn’t going to walk 5 blocks to a Walgreen’s at midnight for a desperate diet coke run.
This little illusion lasted about 10 minutes before I was combing my hair and putting on my shoes.
5 blocks later, I purchased a new case of Diet Coke, and also a 20 ounce bottle … I had no time to let the diet coke case get cold … and drinking warm diet coke is like cutting off your arm … you just shouldn’t do it unless you will die otherwise. Thankfully a refrigerated case of 20 ounce bottles was available.
Still I couldn’t drink it. If I had cracked open that bottle I would have chugged it like a vampire downing a goblet of blood after a 350-year nap. I couldn’t put on that little performance in Walgreen’s no matter the hour.
On the way back from Walgreen’s I was thankful it was so late. My head was killing me and the scowl on my face would have frightened most tourists.
I finally got home and tore off the bottle cap. Took a swig … Immediately my hands stopped shacking and an “Aaaahhh” just as involuntary as the whimper before was heard. All of those Coke commercials suddenly had a whole new layer of meaning to me. Another swig and my eyes started to stop hurting. By the end of the bottle my headache was gone.
Now I’m not saying this story isn’t more than a little telling of a problem … but until they have a caffeine patch … I’m screwed.
Gotta run … I’ve only had 1 diet coke so far today and the cafeteria is about to close.
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David Meade ... Indianapolis based vlogger, geek, rock star, protector of innocents, defender of the weak, role model to millions of children everywhere.
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